Less nebbischey, perhaps

"This is about changing how I choose to live my life (to sound grandiose about it), or, more simply, how I choose to act. These are additions—choices to add to what I already do, choices that I can make to become more of who I really am, rather than remaining a nebbische guy."

They say ("they" in this case being a source known to my wife rather than to me) that Resolutions typically last six weeks.

Well, it's been about six weeks since I posted my "No More Nebbische" manifesto, and as I said at the time, I didn't (and don't) consider it a "New Year's Resolution." It was more than that: it's about changing how I choose to act, additional actions to strengthen me personally and professionally.

Now, a more seasoned writer might take this chance to discourse eloquently on the fine distinction between an attempt to change oneself and a mere resolution. But since I admit that the distinction may be so fine as to be nonexistent, I'll merely continue to assert: this is no mere resolution. It's about changing who I am by changing the choices I make daily.

And, having thus buttressed my assertion of purpose, I will continue by assessing my progress.

In large, I'm quite satisfied with how I'm doing. (I'll try not to hurt myself as I pat my back.) Each weekday (with just one exception) since January 7, I've exercised both body and pianistically. I've made good progress into the Chopin Ballade in G minor (really, it ought to be called The Great), and the final movement of Beethoven's Sonata op. 28 (the "Pastorale"). My fingers are more supple (thanks to a gentle but steady diet of scales and selected Hannon exercises), and have a degree of control that wasn't present at the start of the year. Progress is, in this case, not a comfortable disease, but a steady, if minute, growth of ability. It just needs to continue.

Physically (in terms of exercise), I've been getting a good 20-minute (roughly) cardio exercise each weekday, along with some simple, light strength-work for my arms.

On another area, I've joined a local community chorus, and am having fun singing with a dedicated group of adults. I still need to work on social skills here, honestly... but it's a good start.

And on the concern of maintaining what I had been doing, I continue to dedicate reading time (it's important to me to maintain some semblance of mental capacity), and some time reading (if not understanding) Hebrew. I'd like to do more on the Hebrew, but it's the most dispensable of all these various activities.

So after all this busy-ness, what conclusion do I come to: am I less of a nebbische guy than I was at the start of January? Perhaps so. Yes, in general I think I'm starting to rediscover a core to mysef and to believe in myself in a way that I didn't during the chaotic end of 2012.

But this is only a start, and it really won't amount to anything if it fades away like snow banks under the rain. This is progress, it's true, but it's provisional--it can (and will) erode so easily, if the new habits of action aren't maintained.

I'm hoping that when I check back in here on (or around) March 7, in the midst of Lenten busy-ness, I'll be able to continue to report that I am indeed, a little less nebbischey, perhaps.